User blog:Krayfish/Bonus Rant: Other Species

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Due to numerous requests, I have created this rant to address some of the non-DP species. Like the other civilizations, these other species still suffer from the same problem of being treated as a single culture or faction. However, I will only cover the issues unique to each one. Because there's a lot of species, I'll only review a few. If there's one in particular you want me to review, I'll add it.

Tsuinaron
My main complaint with the Tsuinaron is the alarming similarities to the Dhragolon. I don't mean to accuse anyone of stealing or ripping off, but there's so much in common, it hardly seems like a coincidence. Just for comparison:

Dhragolon biology: Blue skin, pointed ears, humanoid shape, height of around two meters, radiation resistance.

Tsuinaron biology: Blue skin, pointed ears, humanoid shape, height of around two meters, radiation resistance.

FMASN government - Constitutional democratic monarchy, representatives from every colony meeting, monarch acting as a guide, main ruler native to the most powerful nation

DFSNA government - Constitutional democratic monarchy, representatives from every colony meeting, monarch acting as a guide, main ruler native to the most powerful nation

There are also many instances throughout Tsuinaron articles that directly compare the Dhragolon and the FMASN. Even some of the article's wording comes across as paraphrases. I don't mind others getting inspired from the stuff I create, but bluntly put, the Tsuinaron come across as a direct imitation of the Dhragolon, except the main difference being that the former is totally idealized and superior as a species. All of the gritty, dark aspects found in the Dhragolon are not present at all in the Tsuinaron. The only thing I can think of about the Tsuinaron that isn't superior to the Dhragolon is the number of systems.

Overall, the Tsuinaron really need to be toned down, or else they risk becoming a utopian society with Mary Sues. I would highly suggest making some retcons to their appearance and history to distance them from the Dhragolon.

Specific matters
Puqortia is particularly lacking when it comes to description. Perhaps with some additions, it may be easier to rebalance the Tsuinaron's appearance and biology. For example, seeing as their homeworld is nearly twice the gravity of Earth, shouldn't they be shorter/wider/squatter/stronger?

Their overall history seems a bit oversimplified. In the massive time span, nothing much seems to happen, and it comes across as a medieval stasis case where technological developments and society restructurings are stagnant. No particular explanation for this is immediately evident.

Thirdly, their ability to maintain peace so efficiently bothers me. I'm not saying they should be changed to war mongering brutes, but with a population of 10 trillion people, it sounds like something incredibly hard to do. Maybe they do have problems, but their history is notably lacking in conflicts, with their struggles primarily driven by natural disasters instead. Their governmental structure doesn't adequately address methods to combating internal problems or issues that may happen to arise. There's also nothing in particular that justifies their innate peaceful nature. Considering the fact that they evolved from predators, this is hard to buy into.

For reasons mentioned earlier in the rant, I suggest ditching the direct Japanese language connection. Instead, it's better to settle for a convergent language structure that happens to be similar to Japanese.

I do have to give the Tsuinaron credit for its extensive detail regarding its military. It's quite comprehensive, and gives a solid overview of what they have. But overall, the Tsuinaron need a lot of work in addition to elaboration.

Achrisian
I don't buy that they look like humans or happened to evolve from an incredibly similar lineage. Life on Earth, let alone humans, didn't even exist at the time the Achrisians evolved. Given the level of realism we are going for in GC, their human-like appearance is out of place.

Perhaps from a writing standpoint, it's to justify the fact that Aaron looks like a human, but this just seems to be nothing more than an iffy handwave. Aaron needs a better reason as to why he happens to look like a human. Perhaps he was modified externally to look like a human, but this wouldn't happen until well after he arrived in the Milky Way.

The Achrisian development bothers me, particularly the statement that says they developed peacefully before they became spacefaring. Then, it seems they continued to flourish for several BILLION years. It's very difficult to judge from the overall lack of detail, but I'm going to have to label this species as overpowered: they seem to be designed as a superior species, possibly a borderline utopia. I realize that they are a historical race, but they really need to be toned down to be believable.

Milurian
The Milurians' appearance is notably lacking in detail. Judging from what little description is available, they seem like humans except with four arms. Even if I do buy that they happen to look like humans, the fact that they have four arms is a severe evolutionary disadvantage as energy use is inefficient. Given that Miypria seems to have Earth-like conditions, there doesn't seem to be any feasible reason why they need four arms in the first place. Nothing in the planet seems to offer advantages to creatures of such anatomy.

Speaking of which, the planet is way too young. From what we know about evolution, the planet would not have enough time to even develop prokaryotic cells.

As for their government, it's far too incomplete to adequately review. The Milurians just simply need more elaboration.

Avetzan
While surprisingly young in comparison to other civilizations on this wiki, the Avetzan are a solidly designed race. And since they are younger, they are rather immune to the problem of the one species, one culture issue that the other civilizations have.

Overall, the Avetzan are good. Their small size is advantageous making them easy to work with and fix if necessary, and I do not see any major, immediate problems with them. Any complaints that I have about them would be nitpicking. The only thing I really suggest is splitting off the article into multiple parts so it's easier to go into more detail in the future.

Kyekna
I may as well get this complaint out of the way: The article's grammar, spelling and overall writing is poor and is below the quality standards allowable on the wiki. I cannot stress the need to run your articles through a spellchecker. (If you are using Google Chrome, it puts red squiggles under grammar errors for you.) But putting that aside, there are no major flaws with the Kyekna except for nitpicks.

One of the reasons why the Kyekna have an overall good structure is that they are based off of a real animal. But that aside, I know the Kyekna are inspired from termites, but the line between 'inspired by termites' and 'mutant termites in space' is very blurry here. There's a reason why termites on Earth are not the sapient species - they don't have hands and they lack the brain capacity to further develop their society. In order for the Kyekna to actually become sapient, they need a clearly defined means of manipulating and constructing tools. They should be able to easily build electronics, or they would just otherwise be stuck on their homeworld.

Also, at the level of development they are, do they really need to gather wood all the time? If it's for food, couldn't they just build tree farms? Better yet, wouldn't they have found a way to create the fungus via genetic engineering?

Their homeworld could use more elaboration. Given that it's insects rather than mammals that rule the planet, it would make sense if Kenaklesh was entirely wet and tropical. Otherwise, they would have grown hair to adapt to the colder climates. But is the planet's temperature in Fahrenheit? If it's in Celsius, then nothing on Earth could survive in it.

Why does Kenaklesh resemble Africa? If it's a moon orbiting a terrestrial planet, then it's likely too small to sustain a breathable atmosphere except if its binary planet instead.

Government
If the Kyekna are inspired by termites, then they should be hive-minded. If they are not, then most definitely, they wouldn't have always had the society they have now. Not to mention, their history section seems to be altogether missing. I would like to know a bit more about what they've been up to in the past few centuries.

Also, just to confirm I've read this correctly. They've been around for 3.7 billion years? That's way too old. But seeing as you don't have a history section, yet, I would fix that number before you begin writing about it.

Despite the grammar, I do like how the article covers what it needs to in generalized detail. Regardless, the Kyekna need a lot of elaboration. Since there isn't anything about it that should just be scrapped altogether, all they really need is expansion, clarity and some minor rebalancing to adhere to hard science standards.

Matrion
The phrase "top of the evolutionary chain" is actually meaningless. It's frequently misconceived that just because a creature is more complex than another means that they are more advanced, when in reality, simpler creatures can still hold up and compete.

I do have to nitpick their anatomy. Based on the descriptions of each of the Matrion races, they don't seem to be even remotely related. They are just three different alien races altogether. I would either modify their appearance or make them three different species.

Since Matrion lore has yet to appear in that many stories, it's hard to pick apart everything else, but they have definitely improved since the last time I reviewed them.

Dragandr
I like the wealth of information about the Dragandr. It is highly detailed and informative. I can't really point out any flaws unique to them, so the only problems I can think of are shared with other species on this wiki. Regarding how their culture is characterized, they are treated as a one planet-one culture civilization. What they could benefit from would be the existence or more mention of multiple Dragandr factions just to add some more sources of conflict. Also, it would be nice if some of the red links were turned blue, particularly the one leading to their homeworld.

The Dragandr seem to have an atmosphere and feel to them that matches that of a fantasy setting, particularly the Sindarin-sounding names and species similarity to mythical beasts. Regardless, the Dragandr are executed well, presented from a fresh perspective that makes them unique.