Thread:Krayfish/@comment-4872767-20121117160648/@comment-1743498-20121117171131

Since it's involving the Eteno, SupcommMonroee has to approve this as well since those are his creations. So I can't give you the greenlight just yet. In the meantime, there's a few oddities I must point out:

The Coelraptor article:

Refrain from glorifying your own race and avoid superlatives like the plague. I'm particularly talking about this line: "the coelaraptors are know for being more govermentaly stable then humans them allowing more freedom AND having more laws at the same time". Utopian species or those that are more superior to humans tend to come across as trite and Mary Sueish. Adding more gritty realism to your species makes it a lot more interesting.

An easy way to fix this up is to look at this article: Starter guide.

The pitch:

I still don't know where the Contro Galaxy is supposed to be. In the article, it says above the Milky Way, but there's no up or down in space. If the empire is only 100 colonies, couldn't they just be crammed into a few star clusters into the Milky Way? For comparison, the Eteno have control of 120,000 systems. If you really wanted to use another galaxy, I would much prefer if you picked a real galaxy in the Local Group.

Secondly, instead of a wormhole, it would instead be a Stone Ring as those are the quickest ways to cross between galaxies.

I also noticed a few science issues. Blockading in space is impossible unless you are referring to the blockading of the Stone Ring. Also, how does the communicator work? Even just sending a radio signal to the nearest star will take years. For the Planet Buster, if we are working with a Stone Ring, it can be destroyed with an asteroid instead.

Lastly, I would like all future edits to be spellchecked. Not only because it's easier to read, but it makes it a lot more professional.