Thread:Krayfish/@comment-5015926-20121012134126/@comment-1743498-20121012140638

The story idea is fine, except for two things:

1. Dimonroff is supposed to very secret, the most well-denfended, secretive location the DFM has. The only way they could known about it is if they had access to the case files referring to the Kleptus incident on Krar: SANARI had assaulted a human in self-defense, and her own SIrius Alnitak was taken into custody while SANARI was sent off to work with GSSOC. That info would be much easier to get a hold of rather than trying to find Dimonroff directly. (To give an idea, trying to find Dimonroff directly is like searching for needle in a cosmic haystack which is also inside an even bigger haystack.)

2. The Matrion are unbalanced in my opinion. An empire with only one planet would have no chance against one with 40,000 systems. If the DFM knew that, they would proceed to invade the planet rather than cooperating. Since you justified as them having help from the Gate Keeper, the problem with that is that Titans are not allowed to interfere with mortals as that's a violation of the Covenant. It would get the attention of Levenslang who would step in to fix the situation.

To fix the Matrion, I would recommend that instead of just one planet, they have control over a star cluster at the edge of the galaxy. It will allow them to keep their mysterious status, but not seem dramatically overpowered for such a small empire.