Story talk:Operation Titanic Discoveries/@comment-771241-20120417052327/@comment-1743498-20120420144500

Everything seems fine so far, though I do have to nitpick a little specifically about Galiana's character development. (Caution: Some constructive criticism below.)

This is just my opinion only, but I'm personally not too fond of characters being referred to as the "Chosen". To me, it seems like a term that the divine beings use to play favorites regardless of the character's own special abilities. Come to think of it, throughout the stories, what has Galiana done that would even get the Tokarthi to consider her a "chosen" one over any other random human?

Well, the GSSOC were sort of "chosen" but they were all picked for clear reasons. It was because they proved themselves to be the best warriors the Galactic Senate had to offer. Such characters are more easily relatable rather than one that is chosen seemingly at random. Generally, what I'm trying to say is that if you aren't careful, Galiana may turn into a Mary Sue. But I do have some ideas on how to resolve this issue:

The best way is to give Galiana some more imperfections of sorts. Here's some examples:


 * Ahrganot's "dark side" and cynical tone


 * Etah's anger and deep feelings of regret about his past


 * Tholker's obsession with guns

But like I said, it's your part of the story and you can write it how you want. This is just my feedback.