Thread:Krayfish/@comment-4730598-20130127235749/@comment-1743498-20130128214538

Generally, I am willing to give an in-depth review of a story twice - once before it's finished and once after it is finished. However, I am fine with providing small tidbits of info:

For now, the show/tell element is much improved. It's exactly the wording I was looking for. The story's descriptions and wording are far more engaging than they were when I last reviewed it. Throughout the rest of the story, see if you can maintain this style, and you will have a good, solid piece of writing.